Learning to Love Our Body and Shift out of Disconnection... My Story Part 1

Your body is always communicating. Physical sensations can signal basic needs, emotions, and whether you feel safe. When you've learned to ignore or disconnect from your body, or when it hasn't felt safe to tune in, those signals can become louder. This can show up as persistent symptoms, strong emotions, or a general sense of feeling stuck.

I spent countless years visiting medical professionals and specialists trying to figure out what was wrong with my body. I experienced ongoing chronic pain starting in my teens that showed up through tension, headaches, dyspepsia, reflux, knee pain, nausea, and fatigue. I felt chronically anxious and unsure why.

Despite being high-functioning on the outside, my body was telling a different story.

I had become so disconnected from what I was feeling internally that my body had to “turn up the volume” to get my attention.

Many neurodivergent individuals or people with complex trauma histories notice some sort of disconnection or hyper-connection to the sensations in their body. Some feel overwhelmed by intense sensations like anxiety or pain. Others feel numb or rarely think to check in with their body until symptoms become difficult to ignore.

Some people experience both.

If you’re dealing with physical symptoms, it’s important to first consult a qualified medical professional. But many people come to therapy with symptoms that don't have a clear medical cause or when symptoms persist without clear answers.

Learning to Tune In

Talking to the body can feel a bit odd or out there to some people at first. We’re often taught to look outside ourselves for answers, rather than trusting our own internal experience.

Learning to notice and respond to what your body is communicating can be a powerful shift. From feeling helpless and confused into feeling more aware and connected to oneself.

Discovering Internal Family Systems Therapy (IFS) was an absolute game changer for me. This framework understands the mind as made up of different “parts,” each with its own role.

At first, this idea may sound abstract. It did to me. But over time, I began to recognize these parts in myself and in the people I work with. This perspective helped me understand why my body had been communicating so strongly for so long.

It finally unlocked the missing key to getting in touch with why my body was so loudly speaking to me all the time.

I learned to start to get curious about what I was feeling inside and talk to these parts, rather than jumping straight into more medical appointments, or hatred for my body.

Every time I kept seeing another doctor or specialist, I didn't realize that I was teaching my body that something was really wrong and needed to be fixed. Which only amplified the anxiety and pain in my body.

How Protective Parts Play into Stuck Symptoms

In IFS, there is the concept of protective parts: Managers and Firefighters. Really this just means that parts try to manage life through reactions like anxiety, task focus, avoidance, perfectionism, people-pleasing, self-criticism, fixing or analyzing. Or when this doesn't work, parts react through addiction, numbing, binging, dissociation, chronic scrolling on the phone, distraction or rage.

These patterns can show up physically. For example, I have seen parts with anger or fear of speaking their truth show up through tightness or pain in the jaw (TMJ).

I have noticed headaches often surface when there is a need to disconnect from feelings that are painful inside.

Neck and shoulder pain can become chronic when someone learns to be hyperaware around other people, do things perfectly or brace for the next bad thing to happen.

These are not fixed rules, but examples of how emotional and physical experiences can be connected.

Moving Away From Fixing

If you tend to be driven, conscientious, or hard on yourself, you may be used to trying to “fix” what feels wrong. I lived this pattern for years.

What shifted things for me was learning to respond differently. Instead of analyzing or pushing symptoms away, I began to approach them with curiosity and compassion.

Over time, as I tuned into an area of discomfort with compassion and curiosity, the symptoms started to soften. I got to know the parts of me that were frustrated with my body and wanting to fix what I was experiencing, and showed them compassion and appreciation.

As I learned to listen, and to gently connect with the underlying emotions I had been avoiding, my symptoms began to ease. My body no longer needed to signal so intensely.

Now when I experience something like a headache, I know to pause and tune into what my body is trying to say. I listen to what might need attention, like slowing down, resting, or having boundaries.

In the next post, I’ll outline some simple ways to begin listening to and responding to your body.